This week, I’ve been working with educators from Romania and Cyprus, exploring a topic that touches the heart of every school community: how we build strong, supportive relationships between families and schools while still protecting our own well-being.
These discussions were full of wisdom and warmth, but also vulnerability.
One story in particular stayed with me - a school counsellor enjoying her hard-earned seaside holiday, with her phone buzzing with a call from a concerned parent. The intention was caring, but the impact? A moment of peace shattered.
For so many educators, this story feels familiar. In many schools that don't have access to organisation-wide email systems or dedicated school apps, WhatsApp remains a go-to tool for school communication because it’s free, fast, and accessible. But it’s also turned into a never-ending stream of messages, group chats, and expectations. Teachers are finding themselves “always on,” responding to messages late into the night or trying to keep up with chaotic group threads.
As a former school leader, I’ve seen firsthand the toll this takes. Educators feel stretched thin, and parents - despite their best intentions - sometimes feel confused or frustrated about how and when to connect. This isn’t anyone’s fault. It’s a symptom of a system without boundaries.
The good news? Schools have the power to change this.
By creating clear, written frameworks for communication, we can protect educators, support families, and ultimately strengthen the relationships that matter most - the ones with our students.
Why Schools Need to Take the Lead
Boundaries in communication aren’t just nice to have - they’re essential. But here’s the thing: they can’t just exist in theory. Schools have a responsibility to make them real, visible, and supported. It’s not enough to say “we value your time”; policies and systems need to back up that promise.
Here’s why it’s so important:
Caring for Staff Well-Being: educators give so much of themselves every day. Without boundaries, the emotional and mental toll becomes unsustainable. Schools have a duty of care to protect their staff by ensuring they can disconnect when the workday ends.
Consistency Across the Board: when boundaries are left up to individual teachers, it creates confusion for parents and adds pressure on staff who feel they need to “keep up.” A school-wide approach ensures everyone—teachers, parents, and students—knows what to expect.
Fairness for Families: clear policies ensure that all families have equal access to communication, not just the ones who are comfortable messaging at all hours. Boundaries create fairness and trust.
A Model for Healthy Relationships: schools that value boundaries send a powerful message to students and families: taking care of yourself and respecting others’ time is important.
What Happens When Boundaries Are Unwritten?
When schools fail to formalise boundaries, they end up in a grey area where no one is quite sure what’s acceptable. Educators feel guilty for stepping away from work, and parents may feel unsure about when or how to reach out.
This can lead to:
Inconsistent Practices: Some teachers answer messages late at night; others don’t respond at all.
Frustration for Everyone: Parents may feel ignored, and teachers may feel overwhelmed by expectations they can’t meet.
Burnout for Educators: Without a clear framework, it’s easy for teachers to feel like they’re failing—even when they’re doing their very best.
Boundaries can’t just float in the air. They need to be written, communicated, and supported.
Practical Steps to Build Better Communication Systems
Creating boundaries doesn’t mean closing doors. It means building systems that work for everyone. Here’s how schools can take the lead:
1. Write and Share a Communication Policy
Be brave. Put pen to paper! Start with a clear, written policy that outlines how and when communication should happen. Make sure this is shared with both staff and parents so everyone is on the same page and can feel that their voice is heard.
Communication Policy Template and Checklist: Coming Soon!
To help schools draft their own policies, I’ll be sharing a Communication Policy Template and Checklist in my next post. This resource will include sample language, customisable sections, and tips for getting buy-in from parents and staff.
2. Use Familiar Tools, But Add Structure
In many schools and communities, WhatsApp is already deeply embedded. If moving away feels impractical, consider transitioning to alternatives like Signal or Telegram, which allow for more privacy and control.
How They Help:
Teachers can use usernames to keep their personal phone numbers private.
Group chats can be better organised and moderated.
Pro Tip: Create dedicated announcement groups to reduce noise, and encourage email or in-person meetings for detailed conversations.
3. Train and Support Staff
Boundaries are only as strong as the support behind them. Teachers need tools and confidence to enforce the policies schools put in place.
Provide response templates for common scenarios (e.g., “Thank you for your message. I’ll respond tomorrow during work hours.”). This is especially helpful for less-experienced staff who may not have had so much experience navigating meetings like this.
...and always back up staff when parents push back against boundaries!
4. Highlight the Benefits for Parents
Boundaries aren’t just for teachers - they make life easier for parents, too. By reducing chaos and creating clear guidelines, schools help families feel more supported.
Conclusion: Boundaries Build Connection
During my time as a school leader, I learned this truth: the best relationships are built on trust and respect. Boundaries are not about keeping parents at arm’s length - they’re about creating a system where everyone feels valued and supported.
As schools, we have a responsibility to lead the way. By creating clear, written frameworks for communication and standing behind our staff, we can protect the well-being of our educators while ensuring families feel heard.
This isn’t just about fixing WhatsApp and instant-messaging chaos - it’s about building healthier, stronger communities.
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